Hey, Ken! How come no one hasn't showed up yet? Where's geo in jc to open today's comments? Where's our beloved GIF Bard to immortalise today's Big GIFs showcase? Where's cory to request Barenaked Ladies (and Wild Neil to give his approval even though he is not aware of the existance of the band)? Where's Murakami with its intriguing conversation starters? Where is Bjarne with his warm german saliutes?
Pets can be long sleepers, but then they zoom in and spin around you, dancing and howling. On paper they may be represented with big eyes that stare and legs that reach out like hands, and then BOOM, they're dead.
@FOFO and KEN et al-what it is! I got a contusion on my hand from falling on the ice yesterday, hit my head too; blacked out for a second. Wow. Yesterday it hurt to turn the key in my car door. About 10% better today. On light duty at work, no sheet metal shears or drill drivers for me as it was my dominant, right, hand.
Sorry to hear, Wild Neil! It happened to me once. The good news is the pain will go away soon. The bad news is the fingers will come off. But if you are lucky like me your middle finger will stay put.
9:10am
arrow apple:
FYI I don't hate. Two dogs taken out by rattlesnakes, and I don't hate rattlesnakes. Incredible animal. PS Watched a movie last night that is worse than the first gif.
FʗFʗ ( :
Well, I woke up early as usual, downloaded the '…TOO_BIG.…' images, and went right back to sleep because a.) I needed it badly and b.) it sounded like the hungrier cat was aware that someone was awake, and I didn't want to stay awake long enough to fill and hide his fake rat toys/feeders. (That's a pain, but he's already lost a very necessary-to-lose pound.)
Quite possibly back to sleep now; drifting in and out to Ken's show has all the advantages of both living and not….
Just no taste in music. It's the worst mixture of pop hip-hop, pop country, pop rock, and pop Indie. If they're not on a top 40 list they're not visiting Norfolk.
If I can make it, I'll drive the 3 hours to Richmond, or the 5 hours to DC, much further than that feels like it wouldn't be worth it unless it's a really incredible show. I did drive 8 hours to see The Flaming Lips once.
9:49am
FʗFʗ (:
Hmm...I was thinking Robert Ridley Schackleton was the Meadow House guy. How suspicious. I demand a clarification!
Robert Ridley-Shackleton, not to be confused w/ the former proprietor of Skull Disco Recs, or Sir Ernest Shackleton, the famous Antarctic explorer. (all three British).
Legal ID Time Approaches: This is WFMU East Orange, WMFU Mount Hope, In New York City and Rockland County at 91.9 FM and online at wfmu dot org, BROUGHT TO YOU BY pepsi: All I want is a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi
And she wouldn't give it to me, just a Pepsi
They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you're back, you're treated like thieves
Drug you up because they're lazy
It's too much work to help a crazy
I'm not crazy, institution
You're the one who's crazy, institution
You're driving me crazy, institution
Crazy
I was once crazy
they put me in a padded room
I died there
They buried me
They buried me with bugs
Bugs
I hate bugs
Bugs drive me crazy
Crazy
I was once crazy.......
"Please call Stella. Ask her to bring these things with her from the store: Six spoons of fresh snow peas, five thick slabs of blue cheese, and maybe a snack for her brother, Bob."
In other words, it's pronounced "exes-hlem-poit-sager".
I'm pretty sure about it because I did a German introductory course in '98. In the absence of Guido from Cologne I'm the defacto authority on German pronunciation.
Ken, you play this Flaming Dragons of Middle Earth, but I don't think you ever played any bad country. Has anybody ever made intentionally bad country music? I mean poorly played, not excessively sappy, etc. Thoughts?
You know, I'm just full of suggestions this morning, because I feel like SM Ken should use Tuchus as a theme song that he plays at a specific time each week, but have it be weirdly in the middle of the show, say at the 11 o' clock hour maybe
Legal ID Time again at 11AM: Call 201-209-9238 and then:
This is WFMU East Orange, WMFU Mount Hope, In New York City and Rockland County at 91.9 FM and online at wfmu dot org brought to you by ME
Ooh I've been to Georgia and California, oh, anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me
Oh I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things
That a woman ain't s'posed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me
That's truth, that's love
Sometimes I've been to cryin' for unborn children
That might have made me complete
But I, I took the sweet life and never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free
Hey lady, I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
By the way, is the EAS machine working correctly? I think there's been dead air instead. Maybe open the phone lines during EAS testing and let callers read the alert?
Every moment someone is saying 'tuchus' is a moment they're not saying 'tushie', and that's great. Next to eliminate: 'poop' (say 'turds', 'excrement', 'crap', 'shit', or 'shite') and 'pee' ('urinate', 'micturate', or 'piss'). Instant death for anyone saying 'hoo-ha' where humans (and better) say 'vagina', 'pudenda', 'cunt', 'cunny', or 'fanny' will have to wait for Full Orbital Laser Capability.
If they ever stage "Lemmings" again, someone interpolate "Paints and Brushes", please, as well as "Pull the Tregroes" if the insurance company permit it.
@Murakami NatLamp actually did do a Joni parody, "You Put Me Thru Hell." It wasn't on the Lemmings album (though I think it may have been part of the show), but it was on the great Radio Hour box set Rhino put out in the '90s. Can't find a link for the life of me, though.
I think 'tinkle' and 'wee-wee' may be necessary for people toilet-training children. My lists are drawn-up using the most objective criterion possible: what nauseates me.
11:01am
FʗFʗ (:
Now that I think about it, tadpole, that would be a great skill to have especially when swimming my backstroke routine.
@NotARealDoctor Whoa-- it is, and I've never seen the video! (IIRC, it was a guy imitating her voice on the Radio Hour recording). Thanks for that-- will check it out on my lunchbreak!
I read "can breathe through their genitals" someplace. But that's a tall order. As is breating through ones butt. Especially it its butt via the nose, that could be bad.
Speaking of nausea: "Never Been to Me" so terrible and obvious a ventriloquist's act. Women's Truth as rendered by a a guy who can't reckon how he's not scoring, even with his coke spoon and the BEST Marantz stereo 1971 could provide.
Sometimes coming back into my office after dealing with normal people out on the floor, and stepping into WFMU land is almost too much. Who am I? What am I doing here? I should be someplace in my underwear.
this is great because i just last night was working on my musical with a male prostitute character who's an ex heroin addict. he should sing this song.
Rather than get into a Morgellon's minefield, I'll recommend Ms Mitchell's charming rendition of "Me and My Uncle": www.youtube.com...
Huh, I thought Helen Adam was the wonderful Anna Russell.
Linda Lee:
I really like the effects of some opiates; I very possibly have Mr Burroughs to thank for _avoiding_ becoming a junkie. Now I'm debating whether or not to get into a buprenorphene anti-depression trial—largely because I think it would work.
(Murikami Whywolf) ~ i think you have your own constitution to thank more than Mr. Burroughs. we all read him & he did nothing to deter some of us at all. alas, no experience with buprenorphene to share.
Remember: the Turing Test will be passed all the faster the more boringly and predictably the average human communicates. I realised this when I heard two people on a bus have a conversation that could have been transcribed for use as a television advertisement's script.
My computer periodically asks me if I'm likely to recommend Windows 10 to a friend or family member and it often makes me wonder what kind of conversations advertisers think that people have
@BronwynB: Seriously, what you describe can fit lots of different templates. It really all depends on the crux of your story. And who you are trying to reach in the end.
Every male prostitute I ever knew became a junky, and every junkie I ever knew was skinny and sick looking until they died. Congrats on getting out of that Linda Lee! I tried to help so many. And Neil you're right - that's a lighter.
Legal ID Time again at 11AM: Call 201-209-9238 and then:
This is WFMU East Orange, WMFU Mount Hope, In New York City and Rockland County at 91.9 FM and online at wfmu dot org brought to you by MY MOM:
She's faced the hardest times you could imagine
And many times her eyes fought back the tears
And when her youthful world was about to fall in
Each time her slender shoulders bore the weight of all her fears
And a sorrow no one hears
Still rings in midnight silence in her ears
Let her cry, for she's a lady (She's a lady)
Let her dream, for she's a child (Child)
Let the rain fall down upon her
She's a free and gentle flower growing wild
Mm-mm-mm, mm-mm
Be careful how you touch her, for she'll awaken
And sleep's the only freedom that she knows
And when you walk into her eyes, you won't believe
The way she's always payin' for a debt she never owes
And a silent wind still blows
That only she can hear, and so she goes
Let her cry, for she's a lady
Let her dream, for she's a child
Let the rain fall down upon her
She's a free and gentle flower growing wild
I went to the Booty Bank to ask for a loan and they say I don't have enough assets. But they said it like 'ass-ets'. I still don't know what the hell they meant.
@crateslinger: im glad im on target with my male prostitute having been a junkie then. NOT that i am in any way happy that most male prostitutes become junkies, that's really sad
@Bronwyn-I met some junkies when I drove a cab one day in a pretty BAD part of Buffalo (it was the nice cool shady back parking lot of a McDonalds that had a turd in the urinal). This junkie guy kept giving me cab driving advice as he nodded off mid sentence. You can use that.
11:49am
Sam:
If prostitution and drugs were both legal, fewer of them would probably be junkies.
@neil: my male prostitute is from nyc and doesn't know how to drive, but maybe it's funnier if he gives driving advice despite not knowing how to drive
@Bronwyn: I saw a magician on the subway a few weeks ago who was nodding off in the middle of his act. Looked like a working class Italian showman. But then in the middle of his act he would start to nod and hover. Even when he had a dingy looking dove on his head.
Yeah Brownyn, you nailed it! However, in my experience if a runaway is going to become a prostitute they do that BEFORE becoming a junky, but that's purely anecdotal.
@neil: yes, it's a musical about four sex workers who blackmail clients by threatening to release video of their liaisons, at first purely for money, but then they start targeting abusive powerful men and doing it for justice
Some kind soul has compiled a bunch of Elliott Kalan's 'Letters from Listeners' improv'd 'songs' from "The Flop House": www.youtube.com...
I think it might make a good bed.
(Kalan was a writer on the "Daily Show" and wrote most of the revived "Mystery Science Theatre 3000',and compiled the 'Nuthin' Gay About Cowboys' short for the Oscars the year of "Brokeback Mountain". The podcast "The Flop House" saves my life every day, three friends snarky, adolescent, erudite, professional [jokes that also analyse joke and plot structure] , appreciative, and confortable with each other. They analyse and mock critical and commercial flops, but they also have affection for them and appreciate how hard it is to get movies made…as opposed to "How Did This Get Made" which is all-mockery and whose crew sound unpleasant thereby.)